I Am The Master Of Bingo


I had the privilege to see someone’s “Bingo Den” yesterday. This is the place where they play online Bingo, away from children, husband, pets, phones, doorbells, etc. It was a plush spare bedroom, full of drapes, thick deep-pile carpets and rugs, low lighting, candles, and incense and joss sticks.

It was fascinating, like another world, a sort of Soft Santa’s All-Year-Round Gaming Grotto. He had good luck charms everywhere and a real horseshoe over the door. The sign on the door, burnt into oak, said “Abandon luck all ye who enter here, apart from me!”   He had a 5.1 surround sound system, thick drape curtains, and those flickering red candle bulbs for the main chandelier (the ones that I don’t think you can get any more because they are too energy intensive!). Hanging on the wardrobe door, and I kid you now, was a wizard’s cloak- all with sun, moon, stars, wands, staves and cups. I remarked on this, and he said it was a fancy dress hire thing that he wore once, was sick over, and shrunk when washed so he couldn’t take it back to the hire firm. A story so soppy it just might be true! I asked the question you know I had to ask… did he put it on when he went online to play Bingo… I think you know the answer! He left it off once, and played for 6 hours straight without any sniff of a win!

Hanging on the cupboard door were various sets of beads, chains, ankhs, crosses medallions, symbols and horoscope amulets. Yes, he had to wear various combinations for whatever days of the month it was. If there were rings around Uranus and Venus was in alignment with Mars, then that required the Egyptian paraphernalia. Wooden brightly painted figurines of Set, Thoth, Anubis and Horus were then paraded out around his screen. In a particular configuration of course. I said did he really believe in all this? He said not really, not a 100%, but that it was quite good fun to have a “ritual of readiness” for his Bingo sessions. It was party some kind of tantric meditation that eased away the troubles and hurly-burly of the day and allowed him to slip into a nice state of mind while playing Bingo. Of course there was music as well- ambient Humpbacked Whale music sounds along with tinkling Indian Bells and sounds of jungle streams and exotic bird calls.

The killer for me was when I asked him what his job was…. Chartered Accountant!  Well I guess Bingo takes all sorts!

Good luck and keep your lucky charms charged up! Bingo!